a little playlist

 Music didnt always mean something to me. When I was younger my "playlist" basically consisted of whatever music my father put on in the car, Barbie movie soundtracks, and that one Indonesian drama ("Bawang Merah, Bawang Putih") opening song. But hey, let's not push down all the music i listened to when i was below 8 into just "whatever my father played in the car" because it was quite alot! Songs I specifically remember were from The Pussycat Dolls, Fergie, Black Eyed Peas, Rihanna, Kelly Clarkson, Linkin Park (yes, i knew Linkin Park from my father), Beyonce, and Im sure there's alot of others that i cant seem to remember.

 When i was younger, music was just music. It was just some tunes you play to pass time in the 8 hour long road trip back to kampung, or just something you turn on to jump around with your friends. Now, it means something a little bit more to me. Yes, it's still stuff you play when you're trying to make 8 hours on the road pass quickly, and yes i still jump around to music whether it be alone in my room or with my friends. But, ever since my last two years in high school (my IGCSE years) I  realized how close some albums/tracks are to my heart.

IGCSE years were hard (okay im going to need all  A Level students to be quiet now while i mop around alright, let me and my privileged ass complain about things you guys consider easy. Im a bit of a dumbass so yes, the studying process for IGCSEs were hard but the exams were pretty alright).Throughout studying for the daily quizzes my previous school put us through, I would occasionally listen to certain albums. Back then, they were just tunes to accompany me screaming at my math past papers, but now they mean alot more. They remind me that i survived two years of constantly wanting to rip apart past papers, two years of seeing my friends cry from stress, two years of constantly relating my worth as a human being to what mark i'll be getting.

Boo hooo, Nia's being a big chubby cry baby again, what's new? Yeah yeah whatever, i'll always be a piss baby you all might as well get used to it at this point.

Anyways, Im making this blogpost to share some of the albums that have been tagging along with me for the past two years or so.

"you tip the scale when i weigh my options"

                // drake-views//  

 Let's start off with some drizzy. Views came out around a month before my externals, but it tagged along with me for so long. If you knew me in real life you'd know i quote this album on a daily, i dont think i can ever get over it. I have many memories associated with the tracks. I remember studying for my ICT practicals, hunched over my desktop, filming breakdown snaps of me jamming to Pop Style.  After my exams, I remember screaming out the lyrics with a good friend of mine at a party. I remember even after months of this album being released, quoting it again and again on my twitter and singing it along with my friend at the airport after our flight to Malaysia.  

The album has tracks that gets me missing my non existent ex, and also tracks that has me dropping down low. I mean, isnt that essentially what i am? Either breaking down into tears from the on-going hatred i have for my existence, or getting way too turnt to a song.  

This album will always be one that i treasure. 

(some)  Favourite lyrics :

 - " Got me on flight overseas, and I still cant get across to you " // too good

 - "Why do I want an independent woman to feel like she needs me?" // redemption  

                                     

             

                                             

"my youth is yours, trippin on skies, sipping water falls"



                                                

                  // troye sivan-blue neighbourhood//  

 Now we go to Blue Neighbourhood. This album is literally one of the most beautiful albums my ears have ever witnessed. I've watched Troye ever since i was young, i did lose interest in youtube at one point, but oh my god is his music good. The first time I heard him sing was for that one TFIOS song he made, i wasnt really that big of a fan of his voice, but now i am absolutely in love with it. All the tracks in his album have this calm vibe and his voice mixes so well with the sound of it all. 

I remember specifically solving math listening to this album. It was nothing at first, just some sound to keep me working. But then it followed me from the beginning of my exams, till now. So many songs in this album i hold close to my heart. I remember dancing around in my room listening to Youth, I remember singing the lyrics of Blue with my cousins on the way to a movie, I remember putting Lost Boy on repeat for days, I remember crying listening to Ease.

 (some) Favourite lyrics :
 - "you dont have to say i love you to say i love you" // for him
- " take me back to the basics and the simple life, tell me all of the things that makes you feel at ease." // ease

                                                   

"your laugh, echoes down the highway, carves into my hollow chest, spreads over the emptiness."

                // halsey-badlands// 

                            
Everyone who knows me decently enough would know immediately that this album would end up in this list at some point. Because, it deserves to be in this list. This album has been with me through so many things. I was already a fan of Halsey before Badlands, I remember downloading mp3 converts of youtube videos from live stages of Colours, because there was never a studio version.

When this album came out, it was mid exam preparation. I remember a friend coming up to me in the hallway excitedly asking if i've listened to album yet, and i dully replied no. Although I waited for the album for so so long, it was just that point of my life where i lost interest in alot of things that didnt revolve around academics. I went home after school one day and actually gave the album a spin and my entire soul and being fell in love with almost every single track.

I remember geeking about it with my friends, talking about that little Hurricane (a song from her debut EP ) tone that was snuck into Gasoline. I remember feeling so powerful  when Control, Gasoline, and Castle played. Everytime i found myself in a car during nighttime, I would play Drive.

 I loved the album so much it was on repeat for months and months and months and months and i still occasionally brush through all the songs. Out of all the albums i'll be mentioning in this list, hands down this one was the one who played the biggest part for the past years.


(some, all of them will be some aight im tired typing this again) Fav lyrics:

- "Im hoping you could save me now but you break and fold" //haunting
- "I've grown familiar to villains that live in my head, they beg me to write them so i'll never die when    im dead" //control

                                                            

" i thought i was dreaming when you said you loved me"

             //frank ocean-blond// 


Alright. We all knew we're going to have to talk about this album at one point. This album was the album that shook the whole internet, for good reasons. When it was first released i wasnt that big of a fan if im being quite honest. It took me around a month or so for me to realize that gosh darn frank ocean really darn diddly did it.

Sometimes i look back at this album and think "eh man it wasnt even that good" but everytime the first few notes of Ivy play my heart starts fluttering. This album reminds me of one of my good friends (i'd like to think she'd know that it's her im referring to if she's reading this) , i spent alot of my gap year around her and whether it be us talking shit on her bed, walking around in the mall, somehow, one way or another, one of the tracks happens to be playing.

I also specifically remember this one meetup my classmates had at our friend's basement, frank ocean was playing, and almost all of them were piling up on me.

Other than this album reminding me of people that I love, it also reminds me of me. Of times i spent alone while this album plays. Because, although the times i spent with my friends are moments i cherish deeply, i also cherish the times i spend with me.

favourite lyrics:
- "i care for you still, and i will, forever. that was my part of the deal"// white ferrari
- " wish i was there, wish we grew up with the same advice." //self control

                                           

"Even if it becomes inaudible, this song that i made for you, dont listen in secret"

    //seventeen-going seventeen// 

I should be genuinely concerned over how predictable I am.  

Seventeen is a kpop group that has been with me for years, this group is the reason why i've been surrounded by so many great people online. Out of all the albums/mini albums they've released, this one, without a doubt, is my favourite. Mostly due to the memories associated with it.

It was released during winter which is honestly so suiting to the tracks that (almost) all have mellow undertones. I would wake up early in the winter mornings, just so that i could have some time alone with this album. Just so that i could journal while this album plays.

One song in this album literally has a special place in my heart, and it always will. I listened to it when I was sad, happy, inspired, stressed, lonely, I listened to it everywhere. Lean on Me is THE kpop track of my damn life. Do yourselves a favour, and listen to it.  No song has ever comforted me the same way this song has.


favourite lyrics :

 - " when you're tired and it's tough, come to me"// lean on me
 - " things may seem repetitive, but when im with you, they seem special."//beautiful

                                                         

"the blood in my veins is made of mistakes"

    //5sos-sounds good feels good// 

this goddamn band is literally /the/ band of my teenage life, i am so sure of it. 5sos's music is special to me because it grows with me. It matures with me. I think it's pretty obvious how much they and their music has matured compared to their first album (which ALSO has a special place in my soul). What Im trying to say is that when they released their first album, i was a HUGE fan because I was 14, but if they had released that when I was 16 I wouldnt have been that big of a fan. Their music was always at the right time for me.

i love love love their sound and I love Luke's voice in all of their tracks. A few other girls in my school, including my close friends, loved them as well. I remember yelling out Try Hard during free periods....truth be told I remember yelling way too many 5sos lyrics with friends from school.

But this album, compared to all their other EPs and their first album, really is special. It handles issues that are slightly more deeper than what they usually sing about, and their sound in general sounds more mature. I loved every single track in this album (well...with the exception of like maybe two) and I am so sure whatever 5sos has in store, will still continue to move me.

Also? Can we talk about Jet Black Heart's Music Video? Representation my dudes, representation .

Favourite Lyrics:

- "You know it's gonna get better."// outer space/carry on
-  " I wont waste another day, wishing this would fade away." //fly away

  

                                             

"kisses like cream, her walk is so mean" 

  one direction//four 

   Good lord i listen to alot of mainstream music dont I. For someone who generally dislikes the songs they play on the radio I do have a very predictable taste in music. Anyways, the reason why this album made it to this list was because me and my friends bonded so so much because of it. In terms of music, to be honest, it was alright. Nothing really spectacular but my friends and i loved it regardless. Just the idea of having a few songs that majority of the girls in the class can sing word by word for is really freakin cool if im going to be completely honest.

My class and I would sing random tracks everywhere in school, I specifically remember singing 18 during a class, and Ready to Run in the hallways, Where Do Broken Hearts Go on the floor before physics class.

A group of girls yelling out pop songs together, undefeatable.

Favourite lyrics:

- " My hands pressed to your cheeks, a long way from the playground."// 18
- " But i know in my heart, you're not a constant star."//fool's gold